The Past Few Days... And More to Come...

If there is a word that can successfully describe the title of this post, it should be:

EXHAUSTING

Since last week, I've been doing more work than I usually do.
Really?
Yes!
Why?
Because I've started my laboratory session... I have 3 lab session:
- Organic Chemistry Lab on Monday from 8.00 am - 5.00 pm...
- Analytical Chemistry Lab on Tuesday from 8.00 am - 5.00 pm...
- Physical Chemistry Lab on Thursday from 8.00 am - 12.00 pm...

Before every lab session, I must do the pre-lab tasks, the journals, sometimes the reports. And after every lab session, I must submit the reports.

The great thing is, the organic chemistry lab make us (me+all of my friends) write TWO journals every week!!!And thanks for that, I didn't sleep well these past 2 days. I stayed awake until about 2.30am, just to make the journals.

Another great thing. The physical chemistry lab gave a very very horrible module. It contains hundreds of miss written words. It gives me headache just by reading it. It doesn't explain anything. I don't get what they're trying to say from that module. I feel like throwing it away every time I see it...

Is that all?
No!
There is.......

MORE

Last Friday I went to Lembang for some gathering, some kind of welcome for the 2007 members from 2006. I stayed there for 3 days and 2 nights. And I didn't sleep well both nights! The first night, I slept at 2.00am because I had to prepare myself. I was going to play the keyboard the next day, and I have to practice for it. I slept only for 3 or 4 hours that night... Even though I've been practicing that hard, the show was still a disaster (well I didn't get much time to practice anyway).

That Saturday, we, the committee, went to the outbound place. Several of my friends and me (the 2006 post) will stay in a post and give the new members some tests... The place was a mount! And unfortunately, we got the highest place there... The coldest place... The most foggy place... The darkest place... Not quite dark when it was in the afternoon... The view across me was like this:

All committee hike up to the place at about 5.00 pm to make the last survey, and hike down about 6.00 pm... And we (the 2006 post) had to hike all alone at about 7.00 pm... Waiting for teams to arrive at our post. The outbound finished at about 1.30 am... We hike down and went back to the villa. I slept at about 2.00 am again that night...

I am soooo tired... Too many things around here... I haven't had a good night sleep since Friday...

But that's not the end...
There is still.......

MORE

The most torturing things are from the campus life... Well as usual, many works to be done... Homework, journals, reports, other tasks, mid term tests...

This week I had:
- 4 journals (3 of them are done), the last one is the "not-understandable" one, physical chemistry lab journal (due date, 20th September)...
- 1 presentation task (due date, tomorrow, 19th September)...
- About 20 numbers of physical chemistry homework (due date, tomorrow, 19th September)...
- Organic chemistry quiz (20th September)...
- Physical chemistry last week report (due date, 20th September)...

And I haven't done ANY of them...
just rephrasing:
And I have done NONE of them...

I want to sleep to prepare for tomorrow's hell...
ray_ap88BuNNy

The First Day of July 2007

How is my first day of July? Well 50% sucks, 50% great...

Let me tell a story of mine, in this blog of mine (oh gross)... I'll use quite formal English...

July 1st, 2007
I woke up at 9 in the morning (I wanted to wake up at 8 but, oh well, I'm a sleepyhead...), I rushed to my own room and charge my cellphone. Then I had my breakfast quickly, I ate satay (20 satays). I went to the bathroom, take a bath, brush my teeth, etc etc etc... After that I went out to see my puppies. Unfortunately, my dad was there and........ I got my morning sermon. He told me about the car was dirty, that I should have washed it, blah blah blah... And there goes my good mood in the morning, and that is the beginning of the day on the first day of July.

After that, my dad went with my mother and my little cousin. Right after he'd gone, I went too. I went to Nessa's house (I'll call her Pochan, it's more convenient), arrived there at about 10 or so. I met her father, her servant, and her mother. I waited for her to take a bath. Not long after she'd gone to the bathroom, angel arrived there. We waited for several minutes and we went to Paris Van Java Mall (PVJ). Traffic jam was everywhere, oh well, it's holiday, many Jakarta people go to Bandung for vacation, making Bandung more and more crowded every single day. Two motorcycles made me angry this morning. One of them came too close to my car, he almost crashed my car (stupid guy). Another one hit my rearview mirror (extremely stupid guy).

After those incidents caused by two stupid guys, we arrived at PVJ and luckily got a parking space. We went downstairs to see the Gramedia Book Fair. Found no interesting books (most of them were Moslem's books, I couldn't buy a thing). We went back upstairs to have some coffee and snack at the Black Canyon. I ordered Mocha Glacier, Angel ordered Watermelon Frost, and Pochan ordered Blackpuccino... We also ordered Tuna Sandwich. All of them were nice, but unfortunately I don't have any picture of them. After relaxing, we went around PVJ, went to the book fair again, and then we had our lunch in KFC.

PVJ was much too crowded today, so we left PVJ and went to Setiabudi Department Store. We went to a toy store and saw many puzzles sold there. We wanted them badly... Very badly... Before we became too interested in that store, we went downstairs to a hobby crafts. In there, Angel looked for some cross stitches, wanted them, but couldn't buy them because the previous one hasn't been done yet. And then we went to Periplus, a book store. Again, we found many interesting things there (books in this case). About 3.30 PM we went home again...

Arrived at Pochan's house again (we went to PVJ by my car), she had such a surprising news. Her father, mother, and sister (her family, for short) was going to go to Jakarta, and she's left there alone with the servants. Well she can't go because she's having a Physics test tomorrow... After we dropped Pochan, we went home (by different cars)...

At home, I was told that they were going to BSM (Bandung Super Mall) with my cousin, so I waited at home. My mother ordered some food from a restaurant and paid there directly. I've been waiting for half an hour but the food didn't come, so I called the restaurant. They said that the delivery man is a new guy, it'll take time. Then I waited again. Another half an hour has gone, the food still didn't come. I called again. They said that the delivery man has returned there. But I still haven't got my food! Then I told them to check again. And then they called here... Here's the conversation:

Restaurant (R): It seems that the delivery man got to the wrong address, but we're not sure yet. We'll check again.

I've lost my patient, I asked:
Me: I haven't got my food yet. Will it still be long???

R: We're not sure, we'll do our best.

I got really angry, I can't trust them anymore, so:
Me: Listen, I've waited for more than an hour, ok? Now if you can't deliver the food in less than 15 minutes, just cancel the food! But send someone to give back my money!!!

Then I hung up without waiting for her response...
I was too angry.

Then I waited, AGAIN.
5 minutes
6.... 7... 8......
On the 10th minutes the delivery man came and I took the food...

Luckily, that was my sickening event for today... After that, I just played my computer, and here I am, writing the blog...

Thank's for reading. And thank's to Angel and Pochan for helping me write this blog (I don't know some of the words)...
ray_ap88BuNNy

The Mind

Yesterday I saw a bulletin entitled "good words". When I open it, it is really filled of good words. It says (not exactly the same, I forgot the exact words):

Watch your mind before it becomes your words
Watch your words before it becomes your action
Watch your action before it becomes your personality
Watch your personality before it becomes your destiny

As you can read from above, the main cause of all the problems there is the mind.
The mind? Is it ridiculous?
No, definitely not ridiculous. At least, not for me.

Do you know the game "command & conquer: red alert 2"? Well if you play the game, you will hear one of your units there (in the game, the unit is called the "mastermind") say "A mind is a terrible thing to waste!"

Well I started to realize that "the mind" thing is not as simple as we thought. Yeah it can even be your destiny.

One example, I have heard many of these cases where sick people that are sentenced that they will die soon because of their illness or that their illness can't be cured anymore and they have no hope of being cured. Well, some of them "miraculously" cured and still alive longer than they were sentenced. Why? Because these people accept their illness and they try to think that they will get well soon, that they can live longer. So, they are cured just like that. Even the doctors are surprised to see them still alive.

For me, that is a good example of how the mind can make many differences. It is mind over matter. If you think you will get well soon, then you will. If you think that you have no more hope and just dying, then you will get weaker and weaker and die. Wheter you live or that at that moment, it's the destiny you've thought before, right?

I am a scientific person, so I'm trying to find "what causes this thing to happen?". Well I'm only a 1st year student, so I don't know if this is true or not, it's just a lousy hypothesis.

When you think or feel of something, your brain will emit some kind of wave with certain length and amplitude. When it wave is received by another 'thing' (can be human, animals, plants, etc), the receiver will feel the way your feel and react. That's why some people can hynotize other people.

For example, if you are happy, then some kind of wave will be emitted by your brain, when someone near you receive it, he/she will become happy too or at least knows that you are happy at that time.

Why do our brains can produce waves? Well that's another case that I don't want to explain here although I have a hypothesis about that too.

Anyway, that's how it works (I think). So, when you think and sure that you will be cured of cancer (for example), you will emit the wave, and the cancer cells will receive it and it will react. We call this "sugesti" in Indonesian. Well sounds ridiculous to you eh? Not for me, I like to think much about it anyway.

Still I believe that mind controls everything you do and you can control your mind.

Well that's a brief unimportant speech from me...
Goodbye

For The Girl I Love The Most

For The Girl I Love the Most

I cry when I see you with him
I cry when I know that you are with him
But just now
It was probably my last cry
I hope so
And I know you hope so too
I don't want to cry over nothing
It's hard for me to get over with
You have the other one to love
While I don't have any other girl to love
Execpt you and only you


You are the best girlfriend I've ever had
Even though it was only 4 months and 18 days
It was the most beautiful 4 months and 18 days I've ever had
I'm not exaggerating it
I really mean it
We've never fought during that time
And I realized how beautiful love can be


If it's for your happiness
I will try to understand
If it's really the best for you
I will also try to understand
Even though it's really hard and painful to me
To be seperated from you
I will, once again, try to understand
And I will surely pray for your happiness
Forever and ever

Even though I will never be your boyfriend anymore
I want to be your bestfriend
That you can count on
I will be there for you
Whenever you are in trouble
Whenever you are hurt
No matter where I am
No matter how busy I am
I will definitely come to you right away
To be there for you
To comfort you
To give you support


I can only hope
That I can be a good bestfriend for you
Thank you for the most beautiful moment
Such beautiful memories
I hope I will not cry anymore
I must be strong

Girl,
Still I want to say
From my deepest heart

I LOVE YOU

Have U Ever?

Have u ever felt so lonely? I do.
Have u ever felt jealous? I do.
Have u ever felt so depressed until it feels like something in your heart has been taken out roughly? I do.
I've been through many kinds of these hurtful feelings, but still I'm so sad when I'm going through it again...

Sometimes we, the human beings, can be so selfish. I'm one of them. I feel like I will have 'it' for as long as I want to, but in fact, 'it' will leave me someday. Here, the word 'it' refers to nothing, no one, nowhere. I'm such a selfish person that hope for 'it' to be with me. Is 'it' also selfish? I don't really know, and I don't want to judge. I don't have the right to judge people in my own opinions.

Why do I always feel like I'm the one cause all the troubles around me? Well it could be me, but is it always me? I just don't know what to do, how to feel... I know that this day would come sooner or later. Whenever I think about it, I always think I can handle it. But? Haha...

I'm nothing in this world, nobody will really care about me. I don't think anyone will care how I feel, coz I myself don't know how I feel, and I don't really care... Terrible? More than that. Sad? Such a simple word.

I don't know what to write anymore. This is the worst blog I've ever written, with all my mind mixed up like this...

One last thing, I write this post with nothing to achieve, just a matter of somethings... I write this without knowing what will happen next. So silly me...

I'd better be someone else, in a different city, in a different country, and in a different world... I wanna go away from this selfish world, world that's full of selfish things, deceptions...

Have u ever felt like I do?

Stupid me...