Have U Ever?

Have u ever felt so lonely? I do.
Have u ever felt jealous? I do.
Have u ever felt so depressed until it feels like something in your heart has been taken out roughly? I do.
I've been through many kinds of these hurtful feelings, but still I'm so sad when I'm going through it again...

Sometimes we, the human beings, can be so selfish. I'm one of them. I feel like I will have 'it' for as long as I want to, but in fact, 'it' will leave me someday. Here, the word 'it' refers to nothing, no one, nowhere. I'm such a selfish person that hope for 'it' to be with me. Is 'it' also selfish? I don't really know, and I don't want to judge. I don't have the right to judge people in my own opinions.

Why do I always feel like I'm the one cause all the troubles around me? Well it could be me, but is it always me? I just don't know what to do, how to feel... I know that this day would come sooner or later. Whenever I think about it, I always think I can handle it. But? Haha...

I'm nothing in this world, nobody will really care about me. I don't think anyone will care how I feel, coz I myself don't know how I feel, and I don't really care... Terrible? More than that. Sad? Such a simple word.

I don't know what to write anymore. This is the worst blog I've ever written, with all my mind mixed up like this...

One last thing, I write this post with nothing to achieve, just a matter of somethings... I write this without knowing what will happen next. So silly me...

I'd better be someone else, in a different city, in a different country, and in a different world... I wanna go away from this selfish world, world that's full of selfish things, deceptions...

Have u ever felt like I do?

Stupid me...